letting go... for real.

Building up to this weekend's worship, I tried to focus on the details. I wanted to hang back on my guitar and give the other instruments in the team opportunity to feature. I made notes so everyone could prepare at home, and I listened to the audio versions repeatedly. But most of all - I prayed. At first for the technical stuff, but more seriously for the condition of my heart.

I recently discovered that I am in fact a perfectionist, and that I really suck at accepting it when things don't go according to plan (my plan at least). I tend to feel personally responsible when a worship session has a few flaws or hiccups, so for this week's session I prayed more about my hang-ups than anything else. I needed to put my SELF-confidence aside and put all my confidence in God. He is after all the one who works through worship music, and we are merely the vessels.

Knowing that we would be trying our new approach, where the leader does NOT need to play full throttle all the way, was pretty challenging because I needed to REALLY be OK with not being in control all the time. I confessed my fear of failure during my preparation and God gave me peace regardless of the uncertainty. I looked at my notes again and decided not to stress if I forget some of them, and I also needed to trust in the team's abilities.

They pulled together brilliantly and we had a good time experimenting with dynamics. My heart skipped a beat when we lost our flow a few times during the worship, but it was so liberating to be able to shake it off and continue - as they say: "smile and wave". Our worship was wonderfully human. I was reminded that God tests our hearts and that my most important responsibility was to be a worshipper in spirit and in truth. Sure, God's standard is super high, but I know now that excellence in character and relationship with God comes way before musical excellence (so easy for me to say but maturing in this is taking some time). I do however believe that He will bless our musical skills even more if we remember not to make it our first priority.

I think this was the first time I went home and did not feel like a wreck after leading a worship session. In stead of repeating each glitch and technical error over and over in my mind, wondering what I should have done differently, I had a fun and relaxed afternoon soaking up the peace that God had given me. Such a big breakthrough for me!

amper amper omgeslaan

Sjoe die Here het my lekker kom verras in gister oggend se worship...

Ek het die week baie tyd spandeer aan ons songlist en om bietjie beter voor te berei as gewoonlik. Dis iets waaraan ek regtig wil werk, en ek het al gesien hoe die Here worship kom annoint as jy net jou deel doen en tyd spandeer aan die beplanning. As jy wag tot saterdag om te oefen, is jy lekker gestress op die verhoog, en my vingers is gewoonlik dan lekker rou en uit oefening.

So die week het ek teen Woensdag al songs gekies en 'n paar keer deur geoefen. Vingers reg, key reg, 'n paar nuwe songs reg. Ek het vir my 'n Sondag-playlist gemaak op my ipod, en kort-kort deur die naweek lekker rustig na die songs geluister. Ek het bos gegaan met tegniese notas en idees vir die dinamiek, very excited!!

Sondag oggend by die kerk aangekom vir oefening en toe vat die klank setup en tuning heelwat langer as gewoonlik, wat beteken ons het 30 min later begin oefen - EEEK!! Ook het ons 'n ongewone vol band gehad, en die baie klanke en stemme het my aanvanklik bietjie oorweldig, 'n eerste vir my om soveel "deelnemers" te koordineer. Oefening was nie so goed vir my senuwees nie, en al het ons almal regtig ingesit, het dit vir my gevoel dis so fragile en ons "gel" net nie lekker nie. Ons is agter toe om te gaan bid, en toe weet ek - this is it! As die Here nie die werk kom doen nie, kan ons maar vergeet om te worship, want al my voorbereiding en plannetjies het nie veel bereik sover nie ☺.

So het die diens begin, en halfpad in die eerste liedjie raak ek super excited oor die energie in die gemeente, en hoe almal skielik net reg klink op die monitors. Die vrees en stress het van my afgesmelt binne oomblikke, en ek het dit so geniet om deur die songs te vloei!! Die band en vocals was amazing en ek kon voel hoe die Here ons almal lekker kom verras met sy teenwoordigheid!

Aan die einde van die diens het ons weer die laaste song gespeel, Saviour King (een van my favorites!!), en dis toe die Here my regtig kom oorweldig het met Sy awesomeness ☺. Die hoendervleis het soos 'n vloed oor my arms en teen my nek op gehardloop, ek kon voel hoe my oë opdam en my woorde wil opraak. Dit was een van daai oomblikke wat ek gewens het ek was nou in die gehoor sodat ek net plat op my gesig kon neerval. Ek was so oorweldig dat ek baie hard moes fokus om regop te bly, want my kniee (en hele lyf for that matter) wou-wou net in jelly verander.

'n Vriend van my, wat ook 'n worship-leier is, het weer vanoggend vir my gesê: mens moet oefen asof die Here nie gaan opdaag nie, en dan moet jy worship asof jy nie geoefen het nie...

It works!! Die Here is 'n genius!

genadevlug

maandag oggend, paarlberg

genadevlug

vry, in vlug,
ontdek ek weer
spontaan-wees
voor U

lag rippel op die wind
skeur die koud
in my
oop

Halleluja!
hyg my stem
oor en oor en oor

ek vlieg by U

So deur die sing

Worship-intersession
Dinsdag 22 Junie

Terwyl ons in die Gees gesing het, het die volgende woorde by my opgekom.
Dis half weird om te hoor wat God vir MY sing, aangesien ek altyd net gedink het wat ek vir Hom wil sing. Ek raai dit kom saam met die hele GRACE konsep wat God vir ons wil oopbreek.

sweet, sweet is the music that You sing unto me
Your voice surrounds me, with Your sweet sweet sound
Your voice, all mine
for me
me alone
You love me,
me, me alone

'Precious', You wisper unto me
'My precious,' is all I hear
Your voice, soft and clear
me, me, me
You adore me

Wonderful, You adore me
my Wonderful, I am in awe
I am in awe
I am in awe
of You, my Wonderful

Ek wonder hoeveel van Sy fluisterings en gesels met my het ek al gemis omdat ek so vasgevang was in wat ek MOET doen en HOE ek dit moet doen om aanneemlik vir Hom te wees.

Liefde-groete
Alida

Okay it's share time from my side: I was scheduled to do worship intersession last night. On the one hand it was great news because I really need practise in following the Spirit. On the other hand it was nerve racking... well because I REALLY need practise in following the Spirit. I like doing things by the book with a set of rules to keep me safe. In free worship you kind of need to throw the rule book away and be sensitive to where the Holy Spirit takes you...
Anyway so I was stressing... Not my calm, chirpy self. When I feel like this I usually pray and plead God to help me feel better so that I can worship better. Well this time God showed me that my feelings are kinda insignificant. So what if I'm nervous - it's all about Him. If nerves makes me more alert to the Spirit then chewing my nails off is a good past time.
So with that in mind I was off the church an hour early so that we could practise. So I got the keys and went to put the alarm off. This will be the first time I do this alone. Now I know the keypad is a few metres down the corridor and I have to push the buttons with force to get it to work. So, I thought I was well prepared with cell phone in my hand, checking the code, knowing where the light switch is....
I opened up and the thing started beeping. I ran to the keypad (it's involuntary, the beeping sounds makes you feel as if a bomb will be going off any moment) and punched in the code, with force!
Nothing happened... I did it again pressing even harder...Nothing happened... Another time... The alarm went off! Visions of bad-ass security guys tackling me with stun guns raced through my head and I started frantically pushing random buttons!
Okay the noise stopped, but I still had to phone the security company to tell them that I was indeed not a thief trying to rob the most well known Primary School in Paarl. Shaking (yea I'm kind of a scary pants) I tried to phone them from the school phone but it was restricted. So I phoned from my cell phone. I gave them my (fake) name but couldn't remember my (fake) surname so I pretended that we had a bad connection - see movies do help sometimes. I gave them the password and they were happy and I was relieved.
Then the other band members started to arrive - great, everyone one time and ready. But...no sound. We decided to practise anyway and hopefully a sound guy would come skipping in some time and help us. Yea...that didn't happen. 20 minutes before we went on we started to carry in amps, cords, mics. Thankfully we have real handy dandy guys on our team and we could pray 5 minutes prior to going on. By this time we were all a bit frantic and irritated to say the least but we all were honest and brought it before God. He immediately gave us joy and peace!
So we winged it. At one time I could tangibly feel the Holy Spirit! I just knew that he was pleased and He loved us immeasurably. It was great!
Now usually I wait for someone to make a comment afterward to know how it went but this time I just knew. The Holy Spirit was there and He was pleased that is all that matters.
So the point to my long story. I doesn't matter how you feel - God isn't focused on that. God is focused on ... well ... GOD! That makes everything Great because our feeling can be deceived. So all Glory to God!!!!
Elizabeth

Godly audience

I was listening to a song from Jesus Culture the other day called “You won’t relent”. At one part in the song Kim Walker sings: I don’t wanna talk about You, like You’re not in the room. Wanna look right at You, wanna sing right to You. Then it hit me! How many times do I do worship at church but don’t worship as if God is standing right in front of me. I get so caught up in the act of leading worship that I forget the core purpose of worshipping – to bring honour to God. If we could see God with our human eyes standing there right in front of us, what a big difference would that make! Imagine him with this big smile on His face and love in His eyes.

It is the same with a Idols contestant. If they just sing their song to take part in the competition it sounds as if there is something missing. But the moment when they look at someone and sing that song to a person, it gets that x factor. We are singing/playing to the creator of heavens and earth. It does not mean that we should strive. It only means that we should sing out of our hearts, the part that truly belongs to God. Next time I’ll see him in my mind’s eye, tapping His feet to the rhythm...

Balancing Act

One thing I've noticed in myself as well as dear friends I know is that if you really want to follow Jesus and give Him your all then the enemy will definitely try and make you lose focus .

In the intensely busy lifestyles we're living there is such a need for balance . We all have our limitations and our weaknesses and it's sometimes necessary to slow down and make sure the balance is still there .

Look around you . Everything in nature has a God-created balance . We call it an equilibrium . And because it is in equilibrium it is therefore sustainable. We're created after the image of our Master . We are all made 1)Spirit 2)Soul 3) Body . If any one of these 3 pillars of the human self is taking strain then the person in question will feel it . The spirit is the most important part , because this is the part that will keep on living after the body died . And by "living " I mean living in heaven or living in hell .

It is our responsibility to make sure our "spirit man" stays strong . We can build-up our spirit in the following ways : a)prayer b)talking in tongues c) worshipping ,d)reading Bible . Our soul is comprised of our a)Intellect ,b)Emotions ,c)Will . We build up our souls in some of the following ways : a)Koinonia : community , spending time with our friends & loved ones b) being intellectually stimulated (this differs from person to person) .

Then lastly the body needs to be looked after as well . We need to take notice of what we eat and also make sure we get some exercise .

SO . Every now and then ,turn on the brakes ,close the door and ask your Father to help you gauge how balanced you are . And then you make the necessary corrections .

The world needs well balanced people , therefor it is our responsibility to make sure we are.